Recently I have made it a regular practice to live outside my comfort zone. It is a commitment I have made in an effort to break out of conditioning’s limitations, structures, and beliefs that keep me in a small existence inside a small world.

This commitment has a “no exit” clause so there is no escape from conditioning's relentless dire warnings, accusations, criticisms, and predictions. Every day there is an opportunity to brush past these lies and live from a place of wonder and excitement. In every moment I make a choice to go with conditioning and spiral into a dark place—or focus my attention on my meditation, the beauty of nature, the meal I am eating, the next item on my calendar, or the person in front of me—away from suffering and into a place of light, love, and amazement.

Recording and listening has helped me to do this in so many ways. 

When I first started recording, I would use it as a place where I could tell the story. Conditioning’s stories were abundant and more often than not, it was just a place where I lived—and the stories kept me in that place. It took an effort to “come to,” go back to the breath and realize that, indeed, I was identified. It was more like seeing it in retrospect.

With recording and listening, I would tell my story, usually from a victimized, helpless perspective. It felt like the Mentor would naturally drop in with assistance, reassurance, and/or encouragement. As I listened back to the recordings over and over again, something amazing happened—I began to identify with the Mentor rather than the victim! I was living from the perspective of the Mentor.

When conditioning comes up with stories now, they are so apparent they are translucent—I can see right through them for what they are: lies. 

Lately, listening back to my recordings, I’ve been hearing a significant shift. Very few stories are told. More often that not, I hear the Mentor’s compassion and love for this being. I hear expressions of gratitude and thanksgiving. I hear an encouragement to keep my commitments and a cheerleader to keep me going when the going is rough.

It is so much easier now to make the choice to let Life lead instead of ego, and so much easier to leave that “safe place” that I am constantly told I should stay in. I cannot make a contribution to Life from living small in that safe place. I choose to live large and from that place I can truly serve the world.

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