On a recent retreat, I had the happy blessed opportunity to get to see more clearly how the voices are always talking to me. Always. As in, ALWAYS.

I have heard the Guide say this many times, and “sort of” had a sense of it, but as we say in awareness practice – sometimes you have to hear the same thing a whole heck of a lot before you truly hear it!

Blessedly, on this occasion I realized, in that felt, experienced, in-the-bones kind of a way that the voices are working on me and vying for my attention all of the time; and how quickly that leads to nowhere helpful!

I’ve often experienced resistance to Recording and Listening in the form of – “sheesh, I’m just feeding the cat, getting the day started, brushing my teeth, walking to the next meeting, doing x or y for a minute – I don’t really need to have the earbuds in right now!....I’d have to get them out, untangle them, have a pocket for the recorder – so much work and really not that big a deal”….on and on went the campaign to keep me from listening.

Then on retreat, I saw it. In all of those “no big deal” moments, a conversation was ALWAYS playing in the background – sometimes subtle, sometimes very loud – but the net effect was leaving this human with a vague or not so vague sense of stress, worry, resentment, frustration, something wrong with me or someone else…on and on. Not where I want to live. I really, really felt how that constant background noise is keeping me in some degree of “ick” all of the time.

And I got it: this is why the Guide is constantly saying we need to have those earbuds in all of the time! I experimented with listening waaaaay more than I typically do…and WOW. Big, big, big difference in my ability to access joy, peace, calm, gratitude and goodness. So clear!

Now that I’m back in my daily life, there is still resistance and “blah blah blah” trying to have me forget this awareness, but I’ve SEEN it in a whole new way. And I have recorded about it and will continue to do so! And, I’m getting this human being I get to travel through this life with a pair of air pods this week so I can bust through that untangling earbuds story. Take that, voices!!
 

Gassho.

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