Lying in a hospital bed at 2:00 a.m., I have just awoken from a horrific nightmare only to realize that I am now awake in a horrific nightmare. Ten days ago I contracted the Covid-19 virus and was admitted to the hospital three days ago.

No visitors are allowed and hospital staff are stealthily keeping their distance. I am alone behind a huge wooden door and the virus makes my mind play tricks on me. I know I am seriously ill and my fear is that if I go back to sleep, I will either go back to the horrific nightmare, or worse still, I’m not sure I will wake up again. I’m not ready for this!

The voices start in….

As I quietly lie there, I realize that I am a prime target for egocentric karmic conditioning’s antics to terrorize me into believing the worst. This is when I feel the shift happen. The best way I can describe it is that even though my recorder was unreachable, it was as if I had literally moved the recorder from the right hand to the left hand.

My attention goes to my breath and I feel comforted, loved and supported. I no longer feel the fear, loneliness and isolation that ego’s stories want me to believe. I feel the strength and presence of the Mentor, God, my guardian angel right there with me in the hospital bed.

My Recording and Listening practice is “operating on automatic.”

I hear the familiar, reassuring, supportive words that have been recorded and listened to so many times over the years: “I’m here with you. You’re not alone. No matter what happens, everything will be okay. Just turn towards me and rest on my breath."

This experience allowed me to feel the power of our Recording and Listening practice. It has strengthened my resolve to continue, knowing that every time I listen to the love and support that comes through the recorder, I experience the Presence of the Divine—the One who will be with me until the end of my life and maybe beyond.

What a shame it would have been, when in the hospital, had I not recognized it as such, hadn’t heard the still, calm voice that conditioning tries to shout over and shut out.

I know, and it is very sad, that so many souls get to the end of their lives feeling so alone and isolated. I realize how privileged I am to have the Recording and Listening practice available to me and I am forever grateful.Gasshō 

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