Recording and Listening has been a lifesaver with respect to experiencing a lot less disruptive sleep. I often go through periods of severe egocentric karmic conditioning/self-hate backlash. I project, since I spend most of the time during the day engaged in practice, ego has no choice but to perform its shenanigans at night while I sleep.

This is usually in the form of nightmares — horrific scenarios of death, tragedy regarding myself or loved ones. I often wake up in the middle of the night, heart pounding, disorientated, and filled with sickening dread, doom, and gloom. Not only are vast amounts of energy siphoned off, I usually have great difficulty getting back to sleep.

Then one day, while at the monastery in group, the discussion turned to listening to recordings throughout the night. Wow, talk about a lightbulb moment of Aha! Life, in its infinite wisdom and compassion, had just offered me a process to counter ego’s ability to grab my attention throughout the night. Excited to participate in this invitation from Life, I inserted a new set of batteries in my recorder, put in my earbuds, and pressed play (I had hundreds of recordings lined up on continuous play) as I lay my head on my pillow.

It took me several nights to get used to the earbuds in my ears and to adjust the volume to where I could put my attention on the mentor, yet not be kept awake by the recordings. Within a week, the miracles began to happen. I would still wake up during the night, yet the experience was entirely different. Instead of waking into sickening dread, and the after-effects of a nightmare, I woke into the comforting, loving, kind and compassionate voice of the Mentor. My energy levels were not being siphoned off, and I would be able to get back to sleep quite quickly.

What I discovered is that it didn't really matter what recordings I listened to; it was not the content, but rather the process of listening to the voice of the Mentor that allowed the transformation to occur.

I also noticed other things began to happen as I listened to my recordings throughout the night. Slowly and progressively, the nightmares disappeared altogether, and I would begin to dream about Practice, and the voice of the mentor would appear in my dreams. I would wake in the morning feeling energetic and refreshed, instead of drowsy, tired, and lethargic — as I did prior to listening to my recordings throughout the night.

I am grateful and amazed, how practical and versatile Recording and Listening is and how it has deepened practice.

Gassho.

 

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